TO FIX YOUR FUTURE, SO IT DOES NOT REFLECT YOUR PAST!
Isaiah 43: 18 and 19 (Amplified Version)
Do not (earnestly) remember the former things; neither consider the things of old.
Behold, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs forth; do you not perceive and know it and will you not give heed to it? I will even make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.
Nothing is as clear as this conversation that God is having with us through the prophet Isaiah. Most counselors, or pastors, or care givers will say - "Get Over It!" "Stop thinking about it, it is doing you no good to think that way."
Fretting, Fussing, Stewing, and Steering seems to be such a fan favorite, however. We really believe, somehow, that we're doing something when we worry and fret over things.
If we let it go, then nothing will be done.
God is clearly saying here, it is up to you to fix your future. But, what does that look like. For me it is going to Him and saying. . ."This is way over my head, but I AM WILLING to be convicted, committed and changed." "I AM WILLING to do turn this over to you and be a part of your leading and directing, God."
The Alcoholic's first three steps says - I Can't,(do this God by myself) You can, go
ahead(Help Me!)
It is acknowledging that you have something you need to turn over to God.
It is Confessing and repenting of it.
It is Accepting His help. Trusting Him to help you fix the future.
I like this phrasing because, of course, it is new, but also because it truly clicks in today's world. Today's generation loves entitlement. Something, or someone owes them everything. God invites any and all generations to realize, that we first need to realize - we are responsible to need and want our future to be good. Not everyone has a sordid or unhappy past. However, I will speculate, nearly everyone has something they want to hang onto and fix themselves. After all, it won't get done unless I do it. God is not working fast enough on it. Whatever it is.
Today's world likes to hear It is up to you to fix your future. . .what they need to get is that there is a huge silent partner who says "I will make a new way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." So the hook is, knowing God, speaking God, and living God. "Okay, so I need to forgive my step-father for the things he said to me and did to me. How can I fix that, so it won't reflect my past?" Go to God, Go to counseling (if need be), forgive, and be a person of peace in your future. This is a subject I need to write about at great length. I see that. Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been different!!! It is moving forward with God's Word, God's Grace, and God's Leading. Believing that He will put all that garbage on mute, and you move forward in contentment and peace.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Fretting - from I Hate It When My Soul is Crying!
FRETTING
Switching off the Glitch of Worrying!
“What are you doing?” my husband asked with that tone he gets when I am doing something he doesn’t understand. “You need to know that our neighbors dog is going to the bathroom in our yard for the third time today!” I announced with disgust and purpose. “And, further, I don’t understand why he has to come all the way over here to do that!”
World-class fretters have to analyze everyday happenings in their life. Sound familiar? Well, why does the next-door neighbors dog do that? I need to know and take immediate action regarding. This is a passion and a platform of mine. It is something I need to share with you and help you identify as well. It is a glitch of mine. I have processed this glitch every day of my life. And, because I processed that with God out of frustration and finally turning it over, is why I want you to know there is hope.
Page 2
Fretting –
Shirley Faith Souder
The reason it is even more important today then it was 30 years ago, is, I see us as women in crisis today. We seem to be living in a great reality TV show. Maybe it is, and we don’t know it yet. I am serious. The current financial, political, chaos we are experiencing is really happening. We need each other; We need God more then ever. We need to join arms and walk with caution, clarity, and purpose over that bridge – trusting God that he has all the angels necessary in battle over us.
Winning. We just need to put our heads down and cross over.
As women of today, no matter what age we are, or level of relationship to God, many of us are feeling overwhelmed, trapped, unworthy, confused, and scared. When you are a fretter, you worry, obsess, and desperately want control over every situation. Why, you ask? Because things have so changed since the middle 80’s. As a counselor of thirty years, I have seen people’s lifestyles making dramatic and bazaar changes. In the 1980’s women wanted men to talk, communicate, and pay attention to them. Women wanted to be significant and noticed. They especially wanted their spouses, significant others, and their leadership in the work place. Women got excited about their ability to multi-task at home and in the work place. They worked on their self-esteem and leadership styles. In the 1990’s I saw a new trend take place. I received many more requests from the men who wanted to come to counseling. They wanted to understand what in the world had happened to their world as they used to know it. They hunted, they gathered, they had the last word. Also in the mix, came multi-marriages, more blended family issues, and spiritual warfare requests. I had to facilitate and arbitrate married couples meeting at State Police Posts to exchange children for the weekend. Too many 911 calls were placed over heated fights between families. One woman came to me after seven marriages, wondering if she was insane. One of those marriages was to a homosexual and his former lover tried to kill her.
Page 3
Fretting
Shirley Faith Souder
I had no manual for that one, not even a Bible verse. I referred her to a psychiatric hospital.
Then there was the famous 1999 year, when everyone came to counseling because of the computer shut-down scare. And, if that was a challenge and journey, the September 11, 2001 which changed us all forever. From that moment on, if you weren’t a fretter/world-class worrier, you soon became one.
The first decade of the millennium from 2000 – 2010 has also taken on a whole new level for fretters, us all really. The political problems, health care, economic turn downs and corporate America has also not been friendly to families. The whole working 24/7. Four days on and four days off. Four nights on and four nights off. One of my clients works from 3 p.m. to 3 a.m. He sleeps two hours, then gets up with his 18 month old daughter and wife to see them off to work and day-care. He then tries to sleep from 7 to 1 p.m. But admits it is hard, because four alarms and sleeping through phone calls, keeps him from quality sleeping at all.
They both have strayed and now want to restore their relationship. So many rocky roads this day and age to fix.
This is why I write about this subject. We need and want to live our lives with carefreeness, peace, joy, happiness, and to be excited about life again. Looking forward to Saturday – date night with your wife, or husband. Reading that fun book you have that just sits there. Taking some courses at the local college on photography or gardening. However, what we experience instead is, taking big sighs every 10 minutes, laughing at something, but only pretending, wanting to sleep a lot, drink alcohol, watch shows we shouldn’t. We have so much on our mind about kids, grandkids, parents that are ailing, our jobs, our husband or wife and whether they are faithful. So what do we do, we fret!
Page 4
Fretting
Shirley Faith Souder
We want to fix everything, police everything, and direct traffic constantly. Instead we see ourselves standing in that jar with the lid on it. Life – people – they just won’t listen. What can I do? I hate this. I hate my life. Where is God?
“Why do I have to feel like I am swimming in syrup?”, a friend of mine asked a few weeks back. She loves God, has a close personal relationship, yet her lifestyle influences her to feel stuck in a vat of syrup.
In praying and studying these many questions over the years and looking at our lives these days, I am convinced that managing our emotions has become a doctorate level event. My clients seem to be surfing the net to find other people to talk to. They look to see how other people are living and in the meantime get caught up with them in a web of deceit. There are multiple relationship living styles, high school girls are getting caught up in homosexual experiments, blended families turn into an octopus of elephants in the living room. My own step-granddaughter has eight to ten Christmas’s every year. I begin to understand why the very young are experiencing depression, eating disorders, bi-polar episodes just to name a few.
There is no quality time, no personal quality time, and we look for red bull energy drinks, and calm down pills for the evening in order to sleep. We do yearn for God’s Word, we even understand Psalms as David poured out his frustrations and pain. But, when will God soothe my crying soul?
Send Feedback to: shirley.faith.souder@gmail.com
Switching off the Glitch of Worrying!
“What are you doing?” my husband asked with that tone he gets when I am doing something he doesn’t understand. “You need to know that our neighbors dog is going to the bathroom in our yard for the third time today!” I announced with disgust and purpose. “And, further, I don’t understand why he has to come all the way over here to do that!”
World-class fretters have to analyze everyday happenings in their life. Sound familiar? Well, why does the next-door neighbors dog do that? I need to know and take immediate action regarding. This is a passion and a platform of mine. It is something I need to share with you and help you identify as well. It is a glitch of mine. I have processed this glitch every day of my life. And, because I processed that with God out of frustration and finally turning it over, is why I want you to know there is hope.
Page 2
Fretting –
Shirley Faith Souder
The reason it is even more important today then it was 30 years ago, is, I see us as women in crisis today. We seem to be living in a great reality TV show. Maybe it is, and we don’t know it yet. I am serious. The current financial, political, chaos we are experiencing is really happening. We need each other; We need God more then ever. We need to join arms and walk with caution, clarity, and purpose over that bridge – trusting God that he has all the angels necessary in battle over us.
Winning. We just need to put our heads down and cross over.
As women of today, no matter what age we are, or level of relationship to God, many of us are feeling overwhelmed, trapped, unworthy, confused, and scared. When you are a fretter, you worry, obsess, and desperately want control over every situation. Why, you ask? Because things have so changed since the middle 80’s. As a counselor of thirty years, I have seen people’s lifestyles making dramatic and bazaar changes. In the 1980’s women wanted men to talk, communicate, and pay attention to them. Women wanted to be significant and noticed. They especially wanted their spouses, significant others, and their leadership in the work place. Women got excited about their ability to multi-task at home and in the work place. They worked on their self-esteem and leadership styles. In the 1990’s I saw a new trend take place. I received many more requests from the men who wanted to come to counseling. They wanted to understand what in the world had happened to their world as they used to know it. They hunted, they gathered, they had the last word. Also in the mix, came multi-marriages, more blended family issues, and spiritual warfare requests. I had to facilitate and arbitrate married couples meeting at State Police Posts to exchange children for the weekend. Too many 911 calls were placed over heated fights between families. One woman came to me after seven marriages, wondering if she was insane. One of those marriages was to a homosexual and his former lover tried to kill her.
Page 3
Fretting
Shirley Faith Souder
I had no manual for that one, not even a Bible verse. I referred her to a psychiatric hospital.
Then there was the famous 1999 year, when everyone came to counseling because of the computer shut-down scare. And, if that was a challenge and journey, the September 11, 2001 which changed us all forever. From that moment on, if you weren’t a fretter/world-class worrier, you soon became one.
The first decade of the millennium from 2000 – 2010 has also taken on a whole new level for fretters, us all really. The political problems, health care, economic turn downs and corporate America has also not been friendly to families. The whole working 24/7. Four days on and four days off. Four nights on and four nights off. One of my clients works from 3 p.m. to 3 a.m. He sleeps two hours, then gets up with his 18 month old daughter and wife to see them off to work and day-care. He then tries to sleep from 7 to 1 p.m. But admits it is hard, because four alarms and sleeping through phone calls, keeps him from quality sleeping at all.
They both have strayed and now want to restore their relationship. So many rocky roads this day and age to fix.
This is why I write about this subject. We need and want to live our lives with carefreeness, peace, joy, happiness, and to be excited about life again. Looking forward to Saturday – date night with your wife, or husband. Reading that fun book you have that just sits there. Taking some courses at the local college on photography or gardening. However, what we experience instead is, taking big sighs every 10 minutes, laughing at something, but only pretending, wanting to sleep a lot, drink alcohol, watch shows we shouldn’t. We have so much on our mind about kids, grandkids, parents that are ailing, our jobs, our husband or wife and whether they are faithful. So what do we do, we fret!
Page 4
Fretting
Shirley Faith Souder
We want to fix everything, police everything, and direct traffic constantly. Instead we see ourselves standing in that jar with the lid on it. Life – people – they just won’t listen. What can I do? I hate this. I hate my life. Where is God?
“Why do I have to feel like I am swimming in syrup?”, a friend of mine asked a few weeks back. She loves God, has a close personal relationship, yet her lifestyle influences her to feel stuck in a vat of syrup.
In praying and studying these many questions over the years and looking at our lives these days, I am convinced that managing our emotions has become a doctorate level event. My clients seem to be surfing the net to find other people to talk to. They look to see how other people are living and in the meantime get caught up with them in a web of deceit. There are multiple relationship living styles, high school girls are getting caught up in homosexual experiments, blended families turn into an octopus of elephants in the living room. My own step-granddaughter has eight to ten Christmas’s every year. I begin to understand why the very young are experiencing depression, eating disorders, bi-polar episodes just to name a few.
There is no quality time, no personal quality time, and we look for red bull energy drinks, and calm down pills for the evening in order to sleep. We do yearn for God’s Word, we even understand Psalms as David poured out his frustrations and pain. But, when will God soothe my crying soul?
Send Feedback to: shirley.faith.souder@gmail.com
Exert from "The Book"
As promised, I am trying out my chapter on Fretting. Would like some comments or feedbacks. shirley.faith.souder@gmail.com From the Book "I Hate It When My Soul Is Crying"
Oh - It is here - SPRING!!! Setting up deck, putting out silk flowers and enjoying a new season.
Okay - well, it is not copying and pasting for me today -
So, while I figure that out - have patience and enjoy your Saturday!
Oh - It is here - SPRING!!! Setting up deck, putting out silk flowers and enjoying a new season.
Okay - well, it is not copying and pasting for me today -
So, while I figure that out - have patience and enjoy your Saturday!
Sunday, March 13, 2011
REMEMBER. . .
It is up to you to fix your future so it does not reflect your past!
Interesting thought to process isn't it! Considering that you have a bad past to reflect from? I just realized that that implicates you have something to fix. Not everyone does, but generally speaking we do. So having fixed that idea, let's look at that a minute. Those are the words I sent with my grandson, Logan when he left for Arcosanti, Arizona. It is something I share with counselees, friends, and family when I note that they "chew" on things, fixate on how they grew up, hate their life as it is right now. God planted that sentence in my head one Saturday morning even though it is a new way to say - "Get over it, you can't change it, move on!" I like it because it clearly points to how IT IS UP TO US to forgive and move on. It is unproductive, it is a waste of time, it only breeds frustration and contempt. It brings on Mal-content and we become bitter old-people. I will be writing about this in the current book, "I Hate It When my Soul is Crying!"
Yesterday I attended a simulcast - live from Colorado on the Case for Christianity. How timely that is today. So many unhappy and frustrated people. Look at the disasters that are becoming a daily event. Go on www.leestrobel.com and you will learn the empirical evidence for the Case for Christ. He was, He is, He always will be the way, the truth, the life. Even the Atheist scientists are going "oops".
It is an amazing study and well worth your while to learn how to dispel all the questions and opposition people have when resisting the truths of our Lord God Jehovah!
I will be sharing an excerpt from the book next week.
Interesting thought to process isn't it! Considering that you have a bad past to reflect from? I just realized that that implicates you have something to fix. Not everyone does, but generally speaking we do. So having fixed that idea, let's look at that a minute. Those are the words I sent with my grandson, Logan when he left for Arcosanti, Arizona. It is something I share with counselees, friends, and family when I note that they "chew" on things, fixate on how they grew up, hate their life as it is right now. God planted that sentence in my head one Saturday morning even though it is a new way to say - "Get over it, you can't change it, move on!" I like it because it clearly points to how IT IS UP TO US to forgive and move on. It is unproductive, it is a waste of time, it only breeds frustration and contempt. It brings on Mal-content and we become bitter old-people. I will be writing about this in the current book, "I Hate It When my Soul is Crying!"
Yesterday I attended a simulcast - live from Colorado on the Case for Christianity. How timely that is today. So many unhappy and frustrated people. Look at the disasters that are becoming a daily event. Go on www.leestrobel.com and you will learn the empirical evidence for the Case for Christ. He was, He is, He always will be the way, the truth, the life. Even the Atheist scientists are going "oops".
It is an amazing study and well worth your while to learn how to dispel all the questions and opposition people have when resisting the truths of our Lord God Jehovah!
I will be sharing an excerpt from the book next week.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
THINGS TO PONDER THIS WEEK!
As spring comes in two weeks, I always think about how things grow. I look out of my window today and see the Land of the Black Sticks. Oh sure, there is some blue sky peeking out here and there, a few white clouds, and right now the sun is behind one of them. But, in truth, it is barren and black. Mother nature had the nerve to dust us with another soapy looking snow last night. John thought it was gorgeous, I felt like she was just once more trying to get on my last winter nerve. So, how does all that beauty come alive in the next two months? Nothing highly educational to solve here or to apply here. It is simply God's design. Romans 1: 20. All you have to do is stand outside, look around and know that God did that, all of it. It was and is His plan. Just like we were and are. It is what it is, it will just be there as He planned. Thank goodness, thank God, we can rely and trust on His plan, His goodness, His love for us.
So, this week think on this:
Do I know God - really know Him? If not, why not? And, what could I do to know Him better? Read the Word more, Pray more, read the Case for Christ?
And, since He knows me, do I grasp and accept that He KNOWS me? If not, why not?
What could I do to concentrate on that? It is pretty awesome when you think how crazy He is about each one of us, even when we don't deserve it. No matter what?
For myself, I am going to play praise music, say out loud verses I know, and practice ones I would like to know by heart. Or, at least the concept.
Grace disguised is that concept that we just don't understand why He loves us unconditionally, He just does. Accept it. Bask in it. Oh sure, you are right, I don't know what all you are going through. Life ain't fair, and we can't understand why on earth things happen the way they do. Why one woman's husband is saved from cancer, and another is not. Why some woman's child was kidnapped, rapped and killed.
When we can't understand God in these things, all we have is that we can trust His heart for us. Without exception, my friends, He will take you through the journey of the good, the bad, and the ugly. You will survive. It is His way!
I have to share this story I watched today. A couple were talking about how the Lord is always present with us. They had a baby boy they thought was perfect until birth. Something happened, and he lost air to the brain, and was a vegetable that they took home to care for. He was fed on a feeding tube, they had to do life support 40 to 50 times a day. The father reported he had a head knowledge of God, but not a heart relationship with God. They rigged up this chair they could take him in everywhere, even to church. No one could believe he had stayed alive all this time. The father kept thinking what is God doing, what am I supposed to get from this? One Sunday, the preacher talked about the KNOWING God thing, and putting Him in your heart, not just in your head, and what that was like. He kept looking at his son, next to him, realizing that all these months, he had come to realize that this baby Cory, had been for him to learn about what it takes from the heart to love and be there for someone. He went forward and asked the preacher to pray for him to received Jesus in his heart.
The next day, Cory came down with a fever, infection and passed away - all within 24 hours. This man believes that Cory was brought on earth, even in a vegetative state to save his father for Jesus. That the small time they cared for him, he learned a new way of believing in God, and what the heart of God does for us.
GET IT?
Have a wonderful week paying attention to One who loves you most!
So, this week think on this:
Do I know God - really know Him? If not, why not? And, what could I do to know Him better? Read the Word more, Pray more, read the Case for Christ?
And, since He knows me, do I grasp and accept that He KNOWS me? If not, why not?
What could I do to concentrate on that? It is pretty awesome when you think how crazy He is about each one of us, even when we don't deserve it. No matter what?
For myself, I am going to play praise music, say out loud verses I know, and practice ones I would like to know by heart. Or, at least the concept.
Grace disguised is that concept that we just don't understand why He loves us unconditionally, He just does. Accept it. Bask in it. Oh sure, you are right, I don't know what all you are going through. Life ain't fair, and we can't understand why on earth things happen the way they do. Why one woman's husband is saved from cancer, and another is not. Why some woman's child was kidnapped, rapped and killed.
When we can't understand God in these things, all we have is that we can trust His heart for us. Without exception, my friends, He will take you through the journey of the good, the bad, and the ugly. You will survive. It is His way!
I have to share this story I watched today. A couple were talking about how the Lord is always present with us. They had a baby boy they thought was perfect until birth. Something happened, and he lost air to the brain, and was a vegetable that they took home to care for. He was fed on a feeding tube, they had to do life support 40 to 50 times a day. The father reported he had a head knowledge of God, but not a heart relationship with God. They rigged up this chair they could take him in everywhere, even to church. No one could believe he had stayed alive all this time. The father kept thinking what is God doing, what am I supposed to get from this? One Sunday, the preacher talked about the KNOWING God thing, and putting Him in your heart, not just in your head, and what that was like. He kept looking at his son, next to him, realizing that all these months, he had come to realize that this baby Cory, had been for him to learn about what it takes from the heart to love and be there for someone. He went forward and asked the preacher to pray for him to received Jesus in his heart.
The next day, Cory came down with a fever, infection and passed away - all within 24 hours. This man believes that Cory was brought on earth, even in a vegetative state to save his father for Jesus. That the small time they cared for him, he learned a new way of believing in God, and what the heart of God does for us.
GET IT?
Have a wonderful week paying attention to One who loves you most!
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