Her counselor carefully guided her through the forest of her trees. It was painful to learn so many things about her behavior and where it was taking her. She had modeling jobs at night after 10 hour days at work. She found herself working at radio stations, television, and then a big jump to personnel recruiter for Magnavox. So, it was two jobs in one day and the downtown party scene in Ft. Wayne, Indiana. Faith's ex-mother-in-law also suggested that she finish her high school diploma.
At first, it was very discouraging, but rewarding. She found that graduating from night school gave her a new lease or so it seemed at the time. At a local television station she met her current husband
"J" and finding that they were both in the middle of a divorce had something in common. He picked on her, and she fought back. Five years later they tied the knot and moved to a smaller town. Faith still felt compelled to look up her five year forecast, and be a part of the party scene. They both settled into working and partying. She enjoyed working for the radio station and he had jobs in the graphic areas. Faith tried the church scene with no real commitment and soon she became restless and empty. She looked back over the last few years and wondered what was it she should have done, but this probably wasn't it.
On Christmas Eve of 1973, she was calling on a client for the radio station, took the materials back to the station and went home. Just as they were getting ready to leave for her parents and an afternoon of make Norwegian Lefsa and opening presents, the phone rang. It was the wife of the client she had seen earlier. "So he tells me that he is leaving me and boys for you!"
It was then that the breath went out of Faith and she dropped the phone. "J" picked it up and she walked slowly to the bathroom. Her whole life flashing before her. Where had this come from. She searched her mind and comments and communication skills. She hardly knew what to say to her husband.
The animals were all drawn up in a tight band now around her feet.
They discussed the situation all the way to her mom's house. They went to late night Christmas Eve Service. And, then she knew. She remembered with a vivid tenacity her summer. She had been so sick and couldn't even pick up a fork for weeks. Her doctor gave her special Vitamin B and C shots.
She had sat on the pier and said to God. . ."Well, if you are really out there, then come in and fix me. Do what you have to do to heal me and fix my life." She had gotten well, and talked to a lady at the radio station. It was prayer, someone prayed for her. And, then she promptly forgot. As she sat in church with the wonderful drifting smells of candles and incense, she knew. In her mind she started raising her emotional fists. "Why?" "Why would you choose such a demeaning and humiliating way to get my attention?" From she understood, the woman had called her employer and wanted her fired.
Soon she found herself at peace and quietly began to pray in a very foreign way. She hadn't done much of that over her life, not like this.
"God, I turn my life over to you, I have no idea what you want or how you could ever straighten this mess out, but here I am. . ."
Stayed Tuned for the Rest: All her pals just snorted and laid down in disgust.
comments may be received at shirley.faith.souder@gmail.com.
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